Having said that, still I sometimes wonder if I might be stupid. It's my English language. After spending all the years trying to acquire my second language, the result is not something I am happy with. It seems impossible to get it at the level I want to be.
It was in 2006 when I got serious about my English acquisition. And it escalated over the years. Finally, I gave up my native language to boost my English acquisition. Because my native language seemed the biggest hindrance of my English progress.
Why am I doing it? Well...at this moment, I am just curious whether it is possible or not. It is an experiment. I am curious more on the experiment itself than the language I will get. I don't think many people have done this experiment. I am happy to be one.
While having the frustration of my slow progress, I am happy about my progress at the same time. Compare to a decade ago, my English is now much better. It's a matter of reference. But my goal is to be as fluent as a native English speaker. I know It is impossible goal for me. Still, I will pursue the goal. It's not the achieving the goal but getting better as much as possible. The goal may be unachievable and it's OK. It's even better to be unachievable so that I will be able to enjoy the journey forever.
"Detach from the outcome and enjoy the journey." That's a good advice. Thanks!