I wasn't a person who dedicated to English learning. I consider myself as an average level of English learner for a long time until I set my goal to be a speaker. After setting the goal in 2011, I got serious, took English classes and online courses, went to Hawaii for a one month ESL program, took a three months business course in Hawaii , joined Toastmasters, even went to attend a NSA convention. However, the progress was far behind from my expectation. I got frustrated by my slow learning.
In 2017, I made a decision to change my first language. The frustration I had been having about my language skills pushed me to do so. I declared that my first language was now English. Committed. No excuse. I thought I needed to give up something important. I needed to 'sacrifice' something to get what I really want. I heard it before from my mentor. And now I understand what it really means. It took almost four years for me to understand this one simple wisdom. Sacrifice was needed.
It's not easy to live with English in Japan because people don't use English here. Naturally, people expect me to speak in Japanese. Yet I need to train my mind to think in English even if I am surrounded by Japanese language. It sounds crazy. I know! But this is my choice.