Things happen in any ways. You cannot always control them. Drop your expectations, then you are not disappointed by any outcome. The cause of your disappointment is your expectations.
The word 'lazy' has a bad connotation. Yet, I don't feel it's necessarily bad. It's just what is. I want to accept it without judging. It's a bit scary to be lazy for a long time honestly speaking. Probably because of a conditioning I got such as 'Don't be lazy'.
Eckhart Tolle spent time on a park bench for two years or so virtually without doing anything. I feel like I am in the similar situation. It is not trying to escape from something. Contrally, it is to face the situation without escaping. It can be delusional. I feel otherwise. Let me see.