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"Competition attempts to be like. Creativeness attempts to be unlike. Competition casts all humanity into the same mold. Creativeness makes of each man an individual counterpart of God." - Three Magic Words, Uell S. Andersen.
Here is your options, competition or creativeness. In general, our schooling or education system seems to be choosing competition. So, it is very hard to choose creativeness in this context. However, you need to choose your path even if it is hard.
It seems the time has come for me to make the transition fully. I don't see any meaning competing anything. I just need to be me.